사랑아 울지마 (Don't Cry, My Lover)

Am I finally alright now? This is what they ask me,

난 정말 괜찮은 건지 나 보러 괜찮냐며 물어보는 사람마저

I look so pained, my tears seep through my two hands.

내가 슬퍼 보이나 봐 하긴 나 눈물로 두 손이 범벅이잖아

Everyday I tried to live my life just like how I used to. Every morning I put on a smile wishing it would be the day I’ll be able to see her again but just to realize in the end that she’s not coming back. Am I finally alright now? They ask me the same question every time and all I can do is fake a smile, lie and say yes.  I was lying to every one and to myself. I can never be alright. How can I be alright when she’s not by my side?

When the tears that blind my eyes fall, I can see you clearly

나를 위해 또 흘러 내리는 빗물이 내 눈 위에서 번져 널 가려줄 텐데

Days pass by and I don’t even care. I’m living in a past that doesn’t exist anymore. It feels like the world is moving so fast… too fast for me to keep up. I’m stuck in a past where she was still beside me, smiling only for me. I can see her clearly as if she’s not a mere memory I keep inside my head.

My love, don't cry. I don't know if I should take you away with me.

사랑아 울지마 널 데려갈지 몰라

You still hold on to so many memories.

아직도 넌 남은 기억마저 잡고 있던거야

We were both crying the day we said our goodbyes. The sky which seems to feel the same pain we were feeling cried with us too. I told her not to cry because that’s the last thing I wanted her to do. I want her to be happy. That’s exactly why I let her go in the first place. Somehow I was a little thankful for the rain. The droplets of rain on my face made me able to hide the few teardrops that fell from my eyes.

I close my eyes for a moment, I still love you so. I should give up, but I can't let you go.

잠시 눈을 감아 널 사랑할까봐 놓아야 될 너의 손을 놓지 못 할까봐

I don’t know where I got the courage to let her go. If I knew it was this painful I wouldn’t have done so… No… I guess I would have done the same thing. I still love her and I doubt if it will ever change. I have to get used to this pain because I know it will never fade. Not until I stopped loving her which I know will never happen.

You taught me how to love. Now, how can I forget you?

내게로 사랑하는 법을 가르쳐 준 너 어떻게 잊어야 해 지금의 내 모습

There are some things that even though I know they're best forgotten I still hold on to them no matter how painful it is. Because although forgetting means getting rid of the pain, all the happy memories will go along with it and I just couldn’t let that happen.

Again, I'm drunk today. I call you but you don't pick up. Again, I cry.

오늘 또 술에 취해 네게 전활 걸어 역시 넌 받지 않아 또 울잖아

I stared at the phone in my hand trying to fight the urge to call her. It was during these times when the pain was so unbearable that I call. I wanted to see her so badly but I guess her voice would be enough to cure this loneliness that was seeping down through my veins. She never picks up, of course. Then I let the glass of wine numb my senses until I could no longer feel the pain that was eating me inside. I drove her away and yet here I am drinking all my bitterness away.

What did we say? Still those tedious words. I can't even say the words 'I'm sorry'.

무슨 말을 했는지 헛된 소릴 한지 ‘미안해’란 말 조차 못하는 나

I was never good with words. I wanted to say I love her but all that came out of my mouth was “I’m sorry.” I was sorry I caused her pain. I was sorry I gave her something she didn’t want from the start. I was sorry I had to hold on for so long when she wanted to break free. There are so many unspoken words which are best left unspoken. Because if I told her the words that were trying to break free from my mouth then saying “goodbye” would be harder for both of us and I wasn’t planning on making it more difficult than it already is. So I have to keep it to myself even if my heart seems like it was going to burst out of my ribcage just because I couldn’t say I love her.

What I have become, I cannot grasp the dream that is now distant.

아직도 내게서 도망가려니 잡을 수 없는 꿈을 쫓듯이 더 멀어져가

Sometimes fate is just so cruel. There were things which are just not meant to be. And when I finally realized it I gave up fighting because I knew it will be just futile to do so. Break ups... Unfulfilled dreams... I just can't help but cry. No matter how hard I try to reach for her… her smile… her voice… everything is just a fading memory… a dream that’s getting further and further away from me…

The love that you have been waiting for, I cannot have.

너에게 어떤 사랑이 와도 기다릴텐데 편히 내가 없다 생각해

The promise that we made, to shed our tears together...I can see them now

네게 했던 우리 약속과 함께 하자던 눈물을 이제 보여 줄 수 있어

The moment she said her goodbye my tears just wouldn’t stop. Her words were like daggers piercing through my heart shattering it into pieces. I wanted her to be beside me forever and I selfishly wished for time to stay still so we can stay together forever. I reached out my hand to hold her face but I hesitated. She seems so near but I knew better than that. I knew she will be forever out of my reach. She was crying too. I have no right to tell her not to cry when I couldn’t even make myself stop. We were both crying but it was due to different reasons. Now I understand. It was a love that was never meant to last.

You're My Melody Chapter 2: The Lost Phone

Jaejoong stopped playing the moment she entered. Her face is unfamiliar so he assumed she's one of the new trainees. She's very pretty, he thought.

"Please go on..." she said. He smiled and noticed how she tried to avoid his eyes. He continued playing the piano with no particular piece in mind. He just let his fingers glide along the keys.

When he finished he heard her say, "It's wonderful." When he looked up he saw the sincerity in those words.

"Thank you." he replied. "Do you play?"

She shook her head. She could have simply said “No, I don’t play“ but instead she said "No, I never get the chance." Even she herself was surprised with her own honesty.

"Why don’t you try it now?" he said showing his wonderful smile that could melt anyone’s heart.

She looked surprised probably because she didn't expect the question. "N-no.. I'd better not."

He looked at his watch then cursed. "Oh uh.. I have to go..." He stood up ready to leave then hesitated. "What's your name?" he asked her right before he left.

"S-seohyun..."

"I'm Jaejoong. It's nice meeting you... See you around, Seohyun-sshi" then he was gone leaving Seohyun staring at the door for a while.

She moved towards the piano although she has no plan of playing it. The melody she heard a while ago still lingers in her mind. It was so beautiful that she was so captivated by the sound of it. She was about to sit on the chair where Jaejoong was sitting a while ago when she noticed a phone sitting on top of it. It didn't take a while before she realized it was Jaejoong's.

------

Jaejoong left the music room in a hurry. They were practicing some dance routine for their upcoming 4th album. They were having a short break when he decided to go to the music room and play the piano. He was in the mood for making a new song so he left without bothering to tell anyone where he’s going. When he came back every one were just about to leave...

"Jaejoongie where the heck have you been?" Dong Bang Shin Ki leader U-know Yunho asked him. He's obviously angry.

"Mianhae…" He apologized. "I went to the music room and lost track of time."

"Never mind… Practice is over." then he said to everyone, "Let's go! We have a plane to catch..."

Jaejoong sighed. A flight right after a practice… If he doesn’t like his job he wouldn’t have lasted this long in the music industry. But the thing is he loves his job and it makes him so happy knowing that he was able to touch people’s hearts with his music. Every time he’s on stage singing he knows that his hard work is all worth it. He also knows that the other members also feel the same way.

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After a few weeks of album promotions in Korea the five members of Dong Bang Shin Ki are going back to Japan to prepare for their Tokyo Dome Concert.

They were on their way to Incheon Airport when Jaejoong noticed he doesn't have his phone with him.

"What's wrong Jaejoong hyung?" Changmin asked when he noticed Jaejoong desperately looking for something in his bag.

"Have you guys seen my phone?" Jaejoong asked.

“No, hyung. Why?” Changmin asked

"If you need to call someone you can use mine." Yoochun offered.

"Forget it hyung. We don’t have time to look for it." Junsu said wondering why Jaejoong seemed so concerned about his lost phone when he could just easily buy a new one.

Jaejoong stared at the other four members with a sorry-please-forgive-me look on his face. They didn’t understand it and they wish Jaejoong would explain what’s going on. They only knew they need to worry when Jaejoong suddenly said, "Guys, please don't kill me..."

"And why would we want to do that?" Yunho asked.

"Because that lost phone is where I keep your pictures that you definitely doesn't want to go public..." Jaejoong averted his eyes and acted as if he’s still searching for his phone on his bag though everyone knew it was useless. He knew the other members are staring at him with fury in their eyes and he doesn’t want to see it.

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Seohyun went to inspect the phone making sure it was Jaejoong's before she decides what to do with it. She was looking through the pictures when she realized she's not supposed to look at them. One picture shows Jaejoong with a rubber band around his pouted mouth. With the rubber band looking like a mustache and micky yoochun, another member of TVXQ behind him, they looked like a real dork. She thinks they’re cute though and she found herself smiling. Another picture shows jeajoong probably in the bathroom with his hair covered in foamy shampoo. Some pictures to her shock were really scandalous that she almost yelped. Red-faced and embarrassed, she turned the phone off.

Thinking Jaejoong would probably come back if he realized his phone was missing, Seohyun waited in the music room for hours. She played the piano trying to recall the melody she heard jajeoong play moments ago. She got frustrated with herself when all she could manage to produce are jumbled notes not even worthy to be called music.

When Seohyun realized Jaejoong isn’t coming back she went looking for him. She searched the whole building but she couldn't find him anywhere. Once he realized his phone is missing he would probably call his phone. Then she suddenly remembered she turned it off. She cursed herself for her stupidity.

She turned the phone on and dialed 1. A picture of the Dong Bang Shin Ki leader, U-know Yunho flashed on the screen. She half expected it would be his girlfriend on his speed dial. Oh well, her father doesn’t allow his talents to be in a romantic relationship. The line didn’t connect. She heard a voice saying the person she’s trying to call is out of coverage area. She tried to call the other 3 members but she got the same response. She noticed the members were named, ‘my yunho’, ‘my yoochun’, ‘my junsu’, and ‘my changmin’. What a weird way of naming people, she thought.

Incheon Airport

Seoul, South Korea

The five members of Dong bang Shin Ki are in a panic just because of a lost phone.

"Yunho hyung, are you sure it's not in your bag?" Changmin asked knowing their leader has a habit of accidentally taking things that doesn't belong to him and constantly losing his own stuff.

"I didn't take it, Changmin. I wish I did so we wouldn’t have to be this worried."

"How can you be so careless hyung?" Junsu complained.

"I said I'm sorry already. It's not like I wanted it to happen."  Jaejoong already feels bad and the other members make him feel even worse.

"If you just didn't take those embarrassing pictures we have nothing to worry now." Yunho said.

Jaejoong wanted to say that he never regrets taking those pictures but he realized it's not a good thing to say to his furious members so he decided it is best to just keep his mouth shut. He's guilty as hell and he hates himself for being so stupid.

"Try calling your phone hyung... maybe it got mixed up with your other stuff." Changmin said.

"I already did. It's not ringing. The battery might have died out." Jaejoong replied.

Yoochun is brave enough to mention the worst case scenario "…or someone might have found it already and turned it off."

"I don't think we have time to look for it now... Let's just hope whoever finds it returns it without looking at the pictures." Yunho said.

"Arasso..." Everyone agreed. They're still worried but Yunho is right. It's almost time for their flight.

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Seohyun went to his father's secretary's office hoping he knows how to find Jaejoong.

Her father's secretary is a woman in her twenties who in Seohyun’s opinion doesn’t know how to smile. Seohyun thinks she fits perfectly well in her father’s office.

"Miss Seohyun, what can I do for you?" she looked  surprised to see Seohyun back so suddenly. She probably thought Seohyun already left.

"Do you happen to know Youngwoong Jaejoong's schedule today? I want to return something he left in the music room."

"No, miss, but I'll try calling Dong Bang Shin Ki's manager."

Seohyun waited for her to finish the call. When she’s done she said, "Dong Bang Shin Ki is on their way to Tokyo right now. Their manager stayed behind because he had some urgent matters to attend to but he’s taking the next flight. I don't think you'll be able to catch him on the airport. What is it that you need to return to kim jaejoong? I can take care of it if you want."

Seohyun thought about the scandalous pictures she found on the phone and decided not to let anyone see it.

"N-no.. I want to give it to him personally. Thanks anyway." then she left.

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Seohyun was on her way back home. While on the car she thought of the best way to give the phone back to Jaejoong. The secretary said they’re currently on the plane going to Tokyo.

Then best option for her is to wait for Jaejoong to come back to Korea then return it to him by then. But then when will they come back? As far as she knows the last time they went to Japan it took them more than a year to come back. She's not planning to keep something that makes her blush just by looking at it. Sending it to Japan is out of the question. She can't risk the possibility of someone seeing it before it reach Jaejoong. Going after them is pure stupidity. Who would spend a plane ticket and do all the trouble to go to Japan just to return a lost phone? Not to mention her father would be really mad at her.

However, she wondered what Japan would be like. It seems exciting to be in a different country speaking different language. It's seems a lot of fun. She wondered when was the last time she had fun and realized the reality that her life was never been fun. Going to Japan seems so appealing... She knew her father wouldn't like it if she left so suddenly without a word. But that's what makes it more exciting. All her life she always try to do the right thing because she wanted to please her dad but not once did he ever noticed her efforts. He only seems to notice her when she do something wrong. Then he would scold her as if she did a very terrible mistake. Only when her father is angry she believes that somehow he still cared.

When she reached home she already made a decision. She went to her room to pack her things. Normally she would ask the maids to do the packing but today nothing is normal. For the first time in her life she would do something that would surely make her father angry up to the point that he would probably consider disowning her. The maids will surely talk her out of it if they found out what she was planning to do. She can't let anyone know. She sneaked and successfully left the house without getting caught. She hailed a taxi and asked the driver to take her to Incheon Airport.

Money isn't a problem since her father gave her lots of those. She's not interested in buying anything in particular though. The only time she wanted something so badly was when she asked her father permission to buy a piano which he refused.

Now the problem is how she's going to find those Dong Bang Shin Ki members when she has no idea where they live in Japan. Her father's secretary might know if she asked. She dialed his number and called.

"Miss Seohyun?"

"Do you know where Dong Bang Shin Ki is staying in Japan?" she asked. "Remember the thing Jaejoong-sshi left in SME? I think it's really important so I'm planning to send it to him instead." She explained hoping the secretary wouldn't find it odd and decide to report to her father.

"Are you sure you don't want me to do that for you?"

"Yes. It's ok. So… can you give me their address?" she asked.

"Just a moment." She hung up, called her back after a while then gave her the address. Seohyun said thanks then she hung up.

When she reached the airport she booked a ticket right away. It’s only a few minutes left before her flight. She’s scared since it’s the first time she’s leaving Korea. But a part of her is also excited by the thought of it. It’s the first time in her 16 years of existence that she actually felt free.

Happy Birthday Seohyun, she told herself. With a smirk on her face, she raced through the boarding gates. She’s determined to make this birthday a special one.

You're My Melody Chapter 1: On Her Birthday

Seohyun was in the car staring at the window looking at nothing in particular. Her mind was on something else. She was nervous because it’s not every day that she gets to see his father. And yet that’s exactly what she’s planning to do.

"Miss Seohyun, are you sure you want to visit your father today?" her driver said with a bit of concern apparent in his voice.

"Yes, I'm sure." It's been six years since she last visited her father's office. She can't blame her driver for being worried. He might have remembered the incident 6 years ago when the driver picked her up at SME building after her visit to her father. She had been so quiet that day. She went to his father’s office full of spirit but when she left she was like an empty shell void of any expression. For a young little girl looking like that and knowing the reason for it the driver couldn't do anything but feel sorry. He wished she would just cry but the little girl never cried believing her father would hate her even more if she showed him some weakness.

Some people are just lucky to be born in a very rich family. Seohyun is just one of them. She was raised in a life where everything she could ever want could be easily given to her. She has almost everything. Well, almost... Because she lacks the most important thing that a person should have... LOVE

Her father is the president of the biggest entertainment company in Korea, SM Entertainment. Other people might think she's so lucky to be the daughter of President Lee Soo Man but for Seohyun it was very unfortunate. Her mom died right after she was born and her father rarely comes home because he spends more time either in his office or abroad.

Ever since she was a child she learned not to expect so much because every time she did all those expectations get shattered in an instant leaving her broken and crying. During Christmas she would dream about her father arriving home with presents in his hand. Every year she would patiently wait in her room staring at the window hoping to see her father's car approaching but it never happens. Then she would wait beside the phone waiting for her father's call which never comes. The maids will prepare dinner for two because she always insists that her father will come home although all of them knew it was pointless.

Her father never cared.

Her birthdays don’t have much difference. During her 10th birthday she asked the driver to bring her to her father's office. Her father never likes it when she comes to visit but she didn't care. It was her birthday and she missed him so much. She stubbornly entered her father's office and found her dad absorbed with work. If he knew it was her birthday that day, she couldn't tell.

Assuming he did knew she asked him excitedly, "Dad, did you buy me presents?" The old man didn't even spare her a glance. All she got was a cold stare followed by a cold voice saying, "Is your allowance not enough? Ask my secretary for money then go buy anything you want." then he went back doing whatever he was doing and ignored the little girl like she was never there all along. That's when she finally accepted the truth that nothing will ever change. Her father will never love her no matter how hard she tried to please him.

Today she turned 16 years old and she wanted to remind her father that fact.

The driver dropped her at the SME Building lobby. A lot of people come and go most of them were familiar faces. Some were actors and actresses and others were singers. No one really paid any attention to her. They know that President Lee Soo Man has a daughter but no one knows how she looks like. The president never mentions her anyway. It's not that she cares. Some old employees recognized her and bowed when she passed. She just smiled then headed straight to her father's office.

She took a deep breath before she raised her hand and knocked on the door. She heard her father say "Come in." She went inside and when her father saw her, his brows formed into a frown. That didn't hold her back. If she was the same little girl years ago she would have went straight to his father's arms and kissed him on the cheek. But years of experience made her realize that her father doesn't like that sort of greeting so she just went straight to the point.

"Dad... do you... have a free time today?"

"I'm busy." She expected that.

"You deserve some rest Dad... Maybe..." she paused hesitating. "Maybe we could go out tonight? Have some dinner..."

"I have business plans for tonight."

"Then how about lunch?"

Every word she said were carefully planned. She thought about every possible answer her father could come up with and the best reply she should give him. But it always ends up with her father refusing and now she's running out of ideas.

"I said I'm busy, Seohyun. Go eat lunch with your friends and stop bothering me..."

"I just thought that maybe we could spend a few hours together today since it’s my birthday...”

Her father looked up from the papers he was reading. "Oh, is it your birthday?"

So he forgot after all, she thought bitterly.

He reached for the phone to call his secretary. "I'm going to send money on your account," he told her. "Do whatever you want with it."

When the line went through he gave instructions to his secretary on how to transfer money to Seohyun's account. When he hang up he faced his daughter and told her, "Call me if it's not enou-" He couldn't finish his sentence because Seohyun cut him off.

"Don't bother dad. I won’t need it anyway." Then she hastily left the room. She took a couple of deep breaths before she managed to calm herself. Every time she's upset or sad she would listen to some soothing songs and then she would brighten up instantly. She decided to do just that.

When she was still a little kid she used to wander around the SM Entertainment building that she now became familiar with its rooms and hallways. Sometimes she would go to the music room and listen to some artists playing the piano. Of course her father didn't know that or if he did he probably didn't mind. She even became friends with some of SME trainees and they treat her like she was their little sister. However, today those friends couldn't be seen anywhere. Some of them are already successful artist and are working themselves to death. Others who couldn't endure the long hours of practice finally gave up and left the company even before they could be given the chance to debut.

She made her way to the music room until she was close enough to hear the sound of someone playing the piano. She smiled. The sound of the piano always brightens up her mood. She once asked his father if she could take up piano lessons. He refused saying it's a waste of time and that she has to concentrate on her academics and work hard to be a doctor someday. Then she thought if she can't get lessons then maybe she can still learn if she bought a piano. So she asked her father to buy her one and as expected he also refused.

She knocked on the door of the music room to announce her presence. Then she went inside and found the pianist to be a handsome guy with black hair and brown eyes that were staring at her with curiosity. She recognized him. He's Youngwoong Jaejoong from the group called Dong Bang Shin Ki. They were considered as the number one group in Asia and were also recognized worldwide with their amazing talents. Even Seohyun is also amazed by them. They have great vocals and amazing dancing skills.

He stopped playing when she arrived so she said, "Please go on."

He smiled then continued playing. His smile seemed to affect her in some way. She ignored the weird feeling and just let herself be immersed with the wonderful melody emanating from the piano and this amazing guy.